How to survive the Corona Virus lockdown with kids | London Family Photographer

It seems inevitable, doesn't it? We're just a few more coughs and sneezes away from being shut in our houses with our kids for weeks on end.

Well never fear, I've given some real thought as to how you can survive this year's near apocalypse.

1. Panic buy the essentials

Forget toilet rolls and pasta, what you really need in your cupboard is a good supply of gin (or your favourite inebriant of choice) and ALLLL the chocolate.

Because, let's face it. After the kids have tried to kill one another for the 100th time that day, because it's their turn to hide while the other seeks, you'll need the prospect of a hefty drink after bathtime to get you through. 

(This is of course assuming you aren't stuck in bed with the corona virus while your children - who will, by all accounts, probably only be mildly affected - wreak merry havoc round the house. If that's the case, guilt-free, all-day tv is your friend)

2. TV 

If ever there was a time you could just stick the TV on and let your children turn into screen zombies before your eyes, without feeling a modicum of guilt, THIS IS IT.

In fact, while they are glued to the screen, you can pour yourself a drink and help yourself to a slab or two of your favourite bar of chocolate, safe in the knowledge that you are waaaay better off than all of those who only thought as far as panic-buying pasta and tinned tomatoes.

Who's laughing now?

3. Play with your kids 

When you've been locked up for a few days and the novelty of all-day tv, and not having to change out of your pyjamas, has palled, you might find you actually have to resort to playing with your children. 

Try not to panic, you absolutely CAN turn this to your advantage. 

Hide and seek is your friend, especially if you have a handy cupboard you can 'hide' in while the kids search high and low for you. If you've thought ahead, you could even enjoy a magazine or a well-earned snack. OR (let’s face it) if things are really dire, a nip or two of gin, while you wait to be 'found'.

You might be drinking your gin straight by this point if you have forgotten to stock up on tonic. Try not to worry, you will * probably * be able to order more online through the thriving black market that will inevitable spring up overnight.

4. Organise your home

You know all those jobs you keep putting off because you simply don't have the time? Well now you have loads of it! And free labour to boot. 

If you are clever about this, by the time you broach the subject, your kids will be so bored, any activity will be welcome, ESPECIALLY if it involves somewhere they usually aren't allowed to go, like the loft, or the shed. 

By the time we are all allowed out into the world again, your washing pile will be NON EXISTENT, you'll have all your old clothes packed to send off to charity (or to use if you have run out of toilet paper - see point 1) AND as an added bonus - all those valuable family antiques that you never knew you had stashed away, will have been dusted down and ready to take to the next Antiques Road Show. 

The money from Aunt Vera's slightly-chipped (but astonishingly rare) ming vase will certainly come in handy during the impending economic collapse heading our way.

5. Consult the experts

For some actual HELPFUL tips on how to entertain children, why not follow @fiveminutemum on instagram, she has some practical and good ideas on how to keep kids happy and busy at home.

@Hurrahforgin @theunmumsymum and @celestebarber are always firm favourites of mine, because let’s face it, we will all need to keep a sense of humour over the coming weeks.

@cookingforbae @chefjacqueslamerde and @lizzie_darden

because after a diet of gin and chocolate, we’ll need to feel better about our food and life choices when we have to face the world again…

Do you have any tips? Favourite social media accounts you follow? Pop them in the comments below!